Canadian province to use school children as lab rats
Maybe keep your kids home for a month or so
In an attempt to expedite the end of COVID restrictions, Alberta’s UCP brain trust has decided to listen to the party faithful, the devout gun toting Conservatives in the province, and attempt another opening.
Clearly they are not gun shy after last summer’s disastrous attempt to reopen. Or perhaps they are terrified of the redneck Albertans insisting on opening, the majority of whom have weapons, a lot of them registered and licensed.
Desperate for re-election after an incredibly fucked up term, which normally wouldn’t be an issue as Albertans have been known to elect a snake named Blue to the position of MLA in the constituency of Buttfuck, Jason addressed the province on Tuesday night and announced a measured lifting of COVID restrictions. All with the goal of securing a win in the next election. Jason really, really likes riding horses in parades.
First up - the canary in a coal mine. The children. Starting immediately school kids are allowed to go maskless.
Depending on the size of the inevitable death toll of the youngsters, an easing of restrictions for adults will ensue. This is entirely conditional on the resulting body count of the kids. If it’s too high, they plan to wait until an acceptable mortality rate is reached.
So, it appears the UCP are okay with killing a few children if it helps Jason get to ride a horse in a parade, all with the end game being leadership of the federal party.
But the lovely and talented former Premier, Rachel Notley, who threw a wrench in the UCP plans once before, is gearing up and looking good to do it again.
Just an aside here - Nick, my friend who was kind enough to me, an old washed up journalist cat, was kind enough to give me a piece of carpet, a litter box, and the odd meal, well Nick was a friend of Rachel’s father Grant, a great political leader of the NDP, who was tragically killed in a plane crash. Nick spent the summer of 1971 campaigning with Grant. It was then that Nick met a seven-year-old Rachel and attempted to play “got your nose” with her until she pointed out to him that he “should grow up and stop acting like the wasted political hippy you are. Get a haircut if you’re going to represent the party and my father.”