I’m just a cat but it is becoming increasingly evident to me that in America it really doesn’t matter how badly you fuck up, it can all be fixed by going on TV and making a total asshole of yourself.
Television. That’s the key. You can be a convicted axe murderer, or worse yet - an elected GOP official - and you can still become a beloved legend.
Are you an ex-mayor? Are you being investigated for all sorts of corruption? Did you actually do your morning toilet routine, complete with a shave, while sitting in a restaurant waiting for staff to serve you your breakfast? Disgusting, right? Don’t sweat it. Put a mask on and sing - ON TELEVISION.
Did you become a punchline after you hid in a bush while the press was seeking you out to ask questions? Answering questions - that was your job, right? You just couldn’t handle it. So whaddya do? Simple - resign your government job, dress yourself in an effeminate neon green blouse and dance your way to a second chance.
Are you an ex-governor who failed spectacularly as Secretary of Energy? Were you so stupid that you actually thought the position dealt with gas stations? No problem – as The Kinks once said - go dancing!
Are you an ex-governor who happened to fluke into a run for VP? Did you royally fuck up? Did you try to redeem yourself with repeated attempts at relevance? Put on a mask and sing. Or dance.
Are you an ex-governor accused of having an affair with your housekeeper while your smoking hot wife, a member of the Kennedy family, was sleeping? Just resurrect your acting career and get your aged ass back in front of the camera.
America has a habit of forgiving anyone on a screen of any description - TV, movie, computer, telephone.
They’ll behave from now on, right? They learned their lessons.
Humans are so gullible.
AND COMING SOON TO A DANCE FLOOR NEAR YOU…