Capricious spending, all night partying, booze, drugs, prostitution.
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear those words?
No - it’s not the GOP in America or rock bands on tour.
You could be forgiven for jumping to those conclusions. You’re close though.
Give up?
It’s the Tory Party over there in Old Blighty. And it certainly appears that good old BoJo (Boris Johnson) is still running the show. He has not gone ‘gentle into that dark night’ as was intended - apologies to Dylan Thomas for conflating his name with that of BoJo.
No, Boris is raging against the dying of the light.
I called my good friend Larry the No 10 Cat at his Downing Street domicile - we touch base a few times a month. Just catching up - you know how it goes.
As usual, Larry was in the know.
“That bloated piece of jetsam has not gone away. He spends more time over here now than he did before he was tossed. Truss is here often and brings Nigel Farage. And the pièce de résistance, just to make it complete - Jacob Rees-Mogg. And they withdraw to the cabinet room for hours, only stepping out to demand more booze and cocaine.
“It takes hours to air the place out once they depart. And they whinge about the smell of my litter box.
“Something is afoot - I am sure Boris is planning a comeback. First he’ll have to get a seat in Parliament. And from what I’m hearing he and Carrie are in the process of buying a new manor house in a new constituency. Price - around four million pounds (US $4.8 million). Complete with a moat. I’m guessing it’ll afford a bit of protection when the mobs of neighbours arrive for the ‘house warming’ carrying pitchforks and torches.
“He’s gearing up for a run in a new constituency. What else could it be?
“To regain his position he has to get get elected - not much chance of that in his old constituency (Henley) - he didn’t do much for that community in all those years.
“As well there appears to be a lot of in-fighting among the Tories - they’re over here - behind closed doors - fighting about the Union. How much longer can the UK take all the in-fighting? Nicola gave up and left for parts unknown - if I had been forced to put up with all the crap she’s had thrown at her - I’d enter a cat shelter or a nunnery.
“I am close to a nervous breakdown - I’m chewing Valium like candy. I’m thinking about taking up smoking.”
I told him I thought he would look very distinguished with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
“Well, it can’t be much worse than all the marijuana smoke I’ve been breathing when all these Tory clowns show up.
“As further evidence that the dead and almost dead of the Tories are still running Sunak and the Tory party, I read this bit of news this morning in the Guardian about Liz and BoJo pressuring Rishi to send arms and equipment to Ukraine.
“By the way - my news source of choice is The Guardian.
“Rishi is not running anything - the has-beens are.
“And did you see the piece on the Tory split over Northern Ireland protocol - damn -how many years have we been doing this shit? And of course, Brexit rearing it’s ugly head in the face of the NI issue.
“No Tom - the shit just keeps piling higher and higher - and it’s not going to change until we get rid of all of this Tory braindead shite.
“Please say a prayer to Bastet that this shite pile gets cleaned up. I may have to run away - you want some company on your travels? I never get to go anywhere - I’m afraid if I leave for a day or two the Tory shit show that goes on here every freaking day will result in the sun setting on my British Empire.
”Cats should be running this show.”
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #CatsOfTwitter #CatsOfPost
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