BREAKING - Chicago mob to take advantage of legalized murder in Wisconsin
"Gonna solve a lot of problems"
Plagued for decades with the hassle of finding a location to discreetly eliminate problems, and then find a place to dispose of said problems, Big Tony Rossetti, boss of the Chicago Outfit has decided to start “doing business” in Wisconsin.
“It just makes sense - murder is still illegal in Illinois, that slows us down, a lot. We really don’t have time to fuck around burying people. It’s a whole thing. You gotta scout around - find a place to discreetly do the hit, and then find a location to bury the fucking body. Sometimes you drive around for a couple of days with the body in the trunk of the car - it stinks on ice. Fuck - I’ve personally had to get rid of three all but new Lincolns.”
Tony explains, “That little fucking grease spot, Lyle Rottenhouse, or whatever the fuck his name is, he did us a big favor. If not for him and his delusions of grandeur, murder would still be illegal in Wisconsin.”
He explained that they wouldn’t be bothering with cadaver disposal, but rather leave the job to the state.
“Why the fuck should we do it? That fucking kid didn’t. And he dropped two. We usually take care of our problems one at a time. The Wisconsin government should see it as a make-work project for their unemployed. It’ll be good for their economy. More jobs, lower unemployment. They should fucking thank us.”