A DC police spokesman has confirmed that Madison Cawthorn has been injured by a self-inflicted gunshot to his foot.
As he was being loaded into an ambulance Cawthorn was heard to say, “Yeah, I shot myself. A right guaranteed me by the constitution of the United States. It’s my Second Amendment right. What’s it to you?”
Apparently a drunken and stoned Cawthorn was wheeling around a Washington park when witnesses say he pulled out a firearm and commenced randomly shooting at dead trees.
A witness to the event said, “At first, I thought he was shooting robins. A lot of us in the neighborhood suspect that he’s the person responsible for all the dead robins we’ve been finding this spring.”
Asked to comment, his ex-wife explained, “Shooting dead trees is a hobby of his. The dude is a fucking freak.”
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