BREAKING - Matt Gaetz, hopelessly attracted to young boys and girls, offers mass murderer job as his intern
Kyle Rittenhouse to run Matt's stable of young girls, Nestor reportedly pissed right off
KENOSHA, Wis. (CNN - Cat News Network)
Matt Gaetz is planning to hire young Kyle Rittenhouse as a congressional intern. His duties are said to include running Matt’s stable of young girls, sometimes over state lines.
Speaking of the details yet to be ironed out Gaetz said, “I’m not sure if he has a driver’s license, but I’m positive a few dollars in the pockets of the right DMV staff will take care of that issue.”
Gaetz continued, explaining the change in pimps, “My girls are starting to look at me as if I’m a ‘big old meanie’ - as those little angels like to call me. My mood hasn’t been as jovial as it has been in the past. And with my upcoming legal issues, I may not have the time to give the lil’ darlings the care and attention they have come to expect from their ‘Daddy’.”
“My dad has already purchased a few of the Rittenhouse jury, and we are confident we’ll have young Kyle on the payroll by the end of the week.”