BREAKING - Merrick Garland seizes oligarch's yacht and gives it to Donald J Trump's minions
"I had to - they're extorting me."
DOJ figure head Merrick Garland has seized a Russian oligarch’s $90 million yacht and said he was going to gift it to Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene for allowing him to continue working at the DOJ.
“They threatened to have me and my family investigated and disgraced in much the same manner as the GOP has attacked Hunter Biden’s laptop - a beat up old Dell that Hunter used in college full of English Lit 101 lecture notes.”
Gaetz and Greene were busy at an orgy at press time and were too impaired to speak to us.
#StandWithUkraine