“Nothing happened to Kyle and he didn’t even know those dudes. I knew these dudes. They were mean to me. It was self-defense.”
This week’s mass murderer, fifteen-year-old Ethan Crumbley, using a brand new weapon purchased by his father on Black Friday, murdered four of his fellow students at Oxford High in Michigan’s Oakland County, and injured eight others on Tuesday during the noon hour.
Details are sketchy at this point, but his father is reported to be very pissed off at Ethan now that his brand new gun has been confiscated, likely never to be returned.
“He’s grounded. The cost of the new gun is coming out of his allowance or the proceeds from the GoFundMe that we’re in the process of starting to help with the legal fees. Just like Kyle did.”
Asked about the motive that the fifteen-year-old spoiled brat may have had, the father replied, “He was hoping to get a jump on a career in DC. It’s been his dream for a week now to intern for his idol, Jim Jordan.”