Canada, bored with Afghanistan kerfuffle, calls an election
We've had two decades of it, add to that two years of masks, vaccinations and pandemic, so we decided it's about time for something fun
While the world argues about the origins of the Afghan war, why it started, and who’s responsible for the evacuation mess, Canada has grown bored and has decided to hold an election to kill time and fill what’s left of a second dystopian summer. Oh, almost forgot, we signed up to take a few planeloads of Afghan refugees as well. We’ve got the room.
The news of the election was met with scorn.
“Unfair!” cried the CPC and NDP.
“Liberals are only calling the election because Justin is so popular right now - especially with that new haircut and clean-shaven look. And the New Democrats already did the same thing less than a year ago in a British Columbia provincial contest. C’mon - Justin - a little originality please. Your dad wouldn’t have been this lazy.”
Apparently, the CPC and NDP thinking ran something along the lines of, “We should wait until the popularity polls are a bit more even. Let’s make it fair. I mean - look who we’ve got leading us.”
Yup - because that’s how politics works, right Erin and Jagmeet?
All in all, it may be a close contest - other than in Alberta with their thirty-three blue seats and the Bloc Quebecois in Quebec with their thirty-two. The BQ are ready to rock as St. Jean Batiste Day has passed - and they have little else to do.
Usual La Belle Province summer activities, which typically include drinking copious amounts of Alcool, eating, and sex with wives and girlfriends, husbands and boyfriends (sometimes all together, sometimes not your own), will be expanded to include door knocking, phone canvassing, town halls, and shovel fighting in the streets and taverns of the towns, villages and cities of Quebec.
Ontario does tend to flip flop around from election to election, not unlike one of the many eight-toed, two-headed radioactive fish caught in Lake Ontario near any one of the nuclear power plants that dot the “A Place To Grow” province.
And Erin has received an election gift from Premier Doug Ford, who has promised not to help. Should go a long way to boosting O’Toole’s prospects.
So we have something new to entertain us - the Biden decimation of Spanky Trump and his family was certainly enjoyable, but it did last four years and was starting to wear a little thin. Time for something of our own.
#IStandWithTrudeau