Cats and the terror of Daylight Saving Time
This should not affect felines but dammit it does and it has to stop
You would think that something meaningless that determines when the sun rises and sets would not affect cats in any way whatsoever.
I mean - this arbitrary and artificial setting of what you two legged slaves call day and night means absolutely nothing to us but the effect on us can be devastating.
What could be so irksome you ask?
First of all, and certainly most important, feeding time. Yes, feeding time, that time of the day when you get to show your devotion and servitude by feeding us.
And studies show that you people remain fucked up for a week or so, often forgetting to feed us at all, only remembering hours later when you are hard at work earning money to buy things for us."
“Oh shit,” you comment to a fellow slave, “I forgot to feed Fluffy this morning.”
The colleague’s insulting reply often goes something like, “I’ve seen that cat of yours, and she can stand to miss a meal or two.”
Fat shaming a cat. How low can you get?
A cat can go hours before a servant gets home and back to his duties. But then there is always the danger that the servant went ‘out for a few’ with his cronies and head straight to bed and pass out without feeding us. I’ve found that when this happens, we’re screwed. No amount or volume of yowling will wake them.
So, in the weeks prior to the advent of DST, I’ve found it best to catch and stockpile rodents to be eaten during that week of zombie slaves.
But a cat must be very careful where he/she hides the stockpile.
I remember one year on the weekend of DST, my slave found my stash in her dresser and screamed loud enough to set the neighborhood dogs to yowling for an hour.
A neighbor reported the blood-curdling scream to the police. They were quite pissed off when they arrived and gave her a ticket for disturbing the peace.
She was not happy with me. She disposed of my cache and punished me by withholding my evening feast.
I now hide it under her bed. She never cleans under there.
Upshot – stop the madness – end DST.
#StandWithUkraine