Cawthorn threatens to savagely assault trees owned by those GOP members responsible for his primary defeat
Admits to membership in 'Dark MAGA'
College dropout and blunderkind Madison Cawthorn, who rose to prominence by being a twenty-something-year-old wannabe politician, has threatened to physically attack foliage belonging to GOP members.
“They can’t get away with this. This is bullshit. They loved me last year. What’s changed? If you think Rand Paul is an asshole, just watch me. Me and ‘Dark MAGA’. You’ll forget all about that clown with the pubic hairdo. I’m going to thrash the sap out of their trees. I know where they live.”
The GOP, once very tolerant of Cawthorn’s Trump-like antics, sent a signal that Madison had crossed a line and dropped support, resulting in Cawthorn’s defeat in this week’s GOP primary.
“You can pretty much be as much of an asshole as you want in our party, but you don’t talk about our cocaine fueled orgies. That is a bridge too far,” Kevin McCarthy said.
The Republican house leader, who tried to rehabilitate Spanky Trump’s image after the January 6th GOP/MAGAt get together on Capitol HiIl, will no doubt try to rescue what is left of Cawthorn’s image.
“I was the one he turned to when his 8-month marriage went down the toilet. I expect that he will be calling me soon. I don’t want to sound like Senator Susan Collins, but this ‘Dark MAGA’ thing concerns and perplexes me. I am very concerned and at my wit’s end. I mean - MAGA is intended to be bright white if you get my drift. What the hell is Dark MAGA?”