'Church of Trump' calls for major tithing
"But not that minuscule 10% thing called for in the book of Leviticus - I'm thinking 50% straight to my bank account."
Let’s face it, it becomes more evident every day, Trump is in desperate need of cash. And fast cash at that.
“I need a lot of money to pay my lawyers to delay any and all litigation. After I am returned to the position of POTUS this fall, all that stuff will go away after I pardon myself.”
I sat down with TFG at the hell hole he currently calls home - Mar-a-Lardo.
Ahh, Mar-a-Lardo, where prominent MAGATs and corporate CEOS used to congregate and pay homage to and ask favors of TFG.
It’s mostly empty these days, no more suck-up Repugs listening to the ramblings of the once semi-coherent ex-President.
Most of his Mar-a-lardo illegal immigrant staff have quit and found employment at 7-11’s and fast food outlets. They tell me that the money is many times what Trump paid them and they get paid on time. And they are so happy eating free food.
It seems the only people that visit now are quick-loan CEO’s offering to lend the big guy cash at exorbitant rates to pay his ever growing debt load. Legitimate bankers are not allowed past the gates.
“You know cat, I have never read a word of the Bible but Charlie Kirk tells me that some chapter called Leviticus in the real bible calls for 10% of worker’s wages be pledged to God.
“Well after the November election I will appoint myself God and forgive all my debts.
“My bible will require a 50% pledge of a workers wages to go directly into my bank account. If I can find a bank that will do business with me.
“I will also be charging the media a fee to ask me questions. If I permit press conferences to continue. Of course cat, you’ll have to pay to talk to me.
“However, I will avoid talking with Saudis on Turkish soil. That whole Jamal Khashoggi thing has kind of soured me on visiting Turkey. I may not even leave Mar-a-lardo at all.
“I owe a shitload of money all over the world and this seems like a sensible way to rid myself of this debt and danger.”
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Thank you! It's good to be back. Nick is still in the middle of his hiatus - I've been slipping Xanax into his drinking bowl. He sleeps a lot and seems to have gotten used to using a litter box. He really needs a shower. I think I'll allow him to regain consciousness sometime this weekend.
Glad you’re back from your hiatus Tom. Unfortunately, I knew there there would be much more to be pissed off about, so welcome back!