Congressman arrested for destroying squirrel habitat
Gun toting madman locked up, sectioned and placed in a psychiatric hospital
“Now what the hell do you have there Officer Haley, and why are his hands bleeding?”
“Sarge, we caught this obviously mentally challenged young man destroying a dead tree with his bare fists. In a freaking wheelchair. And I thought I had seen everything. There was a family of cute squirrels living that tree. Clearly, this guy must have escaped from a psychiatric hospital somewhere.”
“Think we should section him?”
“Definitely. This guy is the textbook definition of ‘harm to self or others’. Whack job was carrying too. Now who the hell would give this whacko a gun? They should be locked up too.”
“Okay, I’ve heard enough, throw this loon in cell nine - alone. Let’s see how much damage he can do to steel bars and cement.”
“Oh, one more thing. He said we should call Donald Trump - he’d vouch for him. Claims he’s a congressman. Delusional as my ex-wife, this guy is. From North Carolina or so he claims. It fits. Must be something in the water there. He reeks of cheap booze too.”