Dealey Plaza - "We ain't goin' nowhere till we see the Kennedys." Confused 'Dead Kennedys' fans refuse to leave.
QAnon also refusing to leave - waiting on JFK Jr and his dad. To make matters worse rapists concurrently holding a rally at the Plaza in protest of Abbott's plan to make rape illegal.
DALLAS (CNN - Cat News Network)
Dallas city officials have issued a public warning to avoid the Dealey Plaza area for the foreseeable future as three major events are scheduled, or currently in progress at the Plaza.
First up - Inauguration 2.0 or re-inauguration of Spanky Trump.
Evidently, QAnoners and other assorted nut jobs, running the gamut from the Proud Boys to the Oath Keepers, evangelicals and people with nothing better to do, are under the impression that the coup attempt was successful, and Spanky would be reinstated.
The karmic strength of the delusion of the bullshit overthrow of a legitimately elected president was such that it summoned a few Kennedys from their graves (or so the story goes) to take up positions of import in the Spanky 2.0 cabinet. Rumor has it that JFK Jr will be appointed Vice-President. It is said that Spanky is looking forward to work with him.
It is not clear if RFK and Teddy will be making an appearance.
Next up - more Kennedy related news - apparently when punk rock fans heard the news that the Kennedys would be appearing in Dallas, the aging Dead Kennedys fans confused the news and quite logically assumed that the Kennedys who would be appearing were the punk rockers Dead Kennedys. Havoc reigned as they searched high and low for tickets to buy, finally assuming it would be a free concert.
“That’s just what you would expect of them,” one fan was heard to say, “Music was meant to be free. It belongs to the people, man.”
A lot of the fans were somewhat chemically altered and have refused to leave the Plaza until they “catch a few tunes, dude”.
And lastly, rapists in the Lone Star state are in the process of staging a protest against Governor Abbott’s new law making the act of rape illegal, in what promises to be a futile effort to stop abortions.
Rapists from all over the state are expected to descend on the Plaza. Keynote speaker will be Ted Bundy, who is taking a break from his death in order to be with his fellow rapists. He will be speaking on the pros and cons of serial raping.
Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, and William Kennedy Smith are also scheduled to appear on the dais explaining their various techniques.
Cosby, while sucking down a Pudding Pop, mentioned that it was not as easy as one might think.
He explained, “A lot of woman do not want to participate, making things just a little tricky. When that happens, Rohypnol and GHB are my go-tos.”
“Mushroom Boy” Trump is said to be selecting the music to be illegally downloaded and used at the event.
A confused member of the statehouse press queried Governor “Wheels” Abbott, “Isn’t rape already illegal?”
Abbott snapped, “Well you sure as fuck wouldn’t think so judging by the statistics.”