DeSantis promises that Floridians will be completely illiterate by the end of the decade
Initial plans include the banning of the use of polysyllabic words and the New Testament
I had a chance to chat with Florida governor and failed presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis the other day as he took a break from ridding the state of law and order.
“This presidential nomination process has slowed down some of my plans for the state, but rest assured I am still on the job of governing and quashing citizen’s rights and education.
“If Florida kids want a reason to quit school, I’m doing my damnedest to give them that right. Soon reading and creative thought will be long lost skills in Florida. I foresee a time in the very near future when parents just give up trying to educate their kids and send them to work picking fruit or fishing.
“In doing so we can rid ourselves of the influx of of foreign workers who are more than to happy to take these low paying jobs for which we can no longer find red-blooded Americans.
“This is all a small part of my master plan.
“You know Tom, there are still a lot of Floridians who still have three digit IQs. As it evident that I have absolutely no chance of becoming the GOP presidential nominee this cycle, I am concentrating on the suppression of education in Florida, and hope this rampant ignorance spreads to other southern states, which should give me more of a fighting chance in the 2028 presidential cycle.”
It was at this point that I brought up the matter of DJT whose IQ is immeasurably low, and still managed to become President and is leading the GOP pack this cycle.
“Well cat, what can I tell you? DJT is an anomaly, a failed businessman from a family of carnies. Not many people are privileged to have that kind of start in life.
“And one more thing before I sic my dobermans on you. We will be banning the New Testament and the Old will only be available in the original language. It will be the only book available in Florida libraries and bookstores.”
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“In doing so we can rid ourselves of the influx of of foreign workers who are more than to happy to take these low paying jobs for which we can no longer find red-blooded Americans. “
Yup. That’s the plan...
Wait, so Florida's going to teach Aramaic and ancient biblical Hebrew??? Because that's the 'original language' of the Old Testament. Mighty ambitious, Ron. 😂