Despite heading up the weaponization panel, Gym Jordan is still a do-nothing House Rep.
Still can't seem to find a reason for him to hold public office.
This won’t come as a surprise to anyone with a pulse.
It seems that Gym Jordan can’t seem to find a purpose (or a friend) in the House or anywhere in DC for that matter.
I know what you’re thinking.
“And just what purpose do you snobbish cats serve other than to amuse social media users and provide lonely old women with a purpose to get up in the morning to view cat pics?”
Well asshat, now that you ask… we eliminate rodents, remember when you two-leggers all but wiped out cats and our ‘witch’ servants? The result was the Black Plague. It was very popular in the Dark Ages.
I popped by a meeting of Gym’s ‘Weaponization’ Committee sessions just as ‘they’ were breaking up.
It was a sad sight.
Gym was sitting in the committee room by himself playing ‘Angry Birds’ on his phone. His face lit up when he saw me attempt to slide in unnoticed. An impossibility given the poor turnout. He did not seem to take exception, nor was he surprised at the appearance of a cat.
“Are you from the press or are you a committee member? You know you can bring a guest - we encourage it actually. If you or any of your friends love America, please consider joining our fight. Spread the word. You even get paid for every meeting you attend.
“Sad, I know. Having to pay people to spend time with me. I’m used to it, don’t feel sorry for me. This reminds me of my childhood. My parents had to pay neighborhood kids and my schoolmates to spend time with me.”
I started the conversation by asking him about the the poor turnout.
“Yeah, I know this is not going well. There are times when I really miss the gym. Not that I actually did anything as a teacher and coach, but I loved to watch.
“And in those days people would listen to things I said. No one pays attention to me anymore. I really thought that reporters would listen to me. Oh sure, they go thru the motions - pretend to be interested, making notes as I speak. I’ve seen them toss the notes in the trash can as they leave.
“They always ask where my jacket is. I’m just a joke. A punchline. Oh, I’ve heard the jokes they make.
“Then I see their pieces in the press. Nothing of any consequence. Unless I make some comment that could be construed as inflammatory or nonsensical. I’m turning into a joke. I’m a Trump clone, but at least I’ve got a genuine education.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him - he really thought this committee assignment was his opportunity to appear as a real, working congressman.
Poor delusional bastard.
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