A drunk Rudy is not a problem for the GQP
"Drunkenness or being stoned is a requirement for our legal staff. We don't want them thinking too clearly about the shit we ask of them." - A drunken GQP director
Effective immediately the GOP will be conducting breathalyzer tests at all party functions, candidate debates and campaign stops.
“Yeah, we don’t mind a certain amount of impairment. Hell, we expect it. Just look at our base, many of these people haven’t drawn a sober breath since they quit school in grade seven, but we have to draw the line somewhere. We can’t have Rudy and his buddies giving our candidates advice and putting ideas in their heads anymore.”
Rudy is denying the news that he was impaired when he told Trump to “just deny it” after the 2020 election.
“I had been drinking Diet Pepsi all day. I may have been a little impaired from the coke I had shared with Junior and his fiancé. I had spent the day with them. But I wasn’t drunk.”