Eric Trump was set to enter senate race in Missouri - he's devastated to find he got the date wrong
"I've just learned to tell time, I still have problems with calendars. I feel as stupid as I felt when I bought Ivanka a panty shield to wear on her head to Queen Elizabeth's condo."
Poor Eric Trump.
Not realizing the Missouri GOP primary race is over, Eric Trump was devastated to find he got the date wrong.
"I've just learned to tell time, I still have problems with calendars.
“My dad had endorsed me. He actually said he was ‘endorsing Eric’. I was a shoo-in! It would’ve been nice to have an actual job. I am not permitted to do anything as Trump Organization's executive vice president of development and acquisitions. Dad says it’s an important position.
“But all I do as the person in charge of acquisitions is acquire coffee and lunch for Ivanka. She once made me go buy a ‘fastenator” for her UK trip to Queen Elizabeth’s huge condo. I had no idea what it was, or how to spell it. I thought it was a woman’s thing for her ‘time of the month’. So I got her a huge panty shield. She wore it on her head. I don’t think she knows what they are either.
“And she makes me go shopping for her panties and bras. Not that she has needed a bra since dad had her ‘augmented’ when she turned 16. About the same time she got her new nose. And before long, I’m sure she’ll go for a ‘kidney operation’ just like our step-monster.
'“Too bad about Missouri. I wonder if the Democrats have any openings. My dad has been bouncing back and forth between parties since before I was born. So why can’t I?”
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