GOP to end all public schooling
"Educated people have been the source of all our problems since the beginning of time." - Matt Gaetz
“Well, the logic is pretty simple - educated people don’t vote for us. Kids hate school, or at least we did when I was a kid. I quit at age 12 and started selling pot full time. Didn’t hurt me none. I’m now the biggerest fentanyl and ‘shine dealer in the south. I vote Republican - ergo facto stop educating kids and presto - more GOPers. If Trump decides to let them vote, that is.”
That was how Billy-Joe Crudité of Bear’s Rump Alabama explained the GOP’s plan to close all public schools.
We spoke with Rep Matt Gaetz to get his perspective.
“Great idea. If your parents can't afford private school and can’t take care of you until you’re thirty years old, they shouldn’t have had children. I know our plan to ban contraception may play a little havoc with that. But it doesn’t really affect me personally, so fuck it. Besides we need uneducated people to do those poverty level jobs. And once we’ve locked them into that lifestyle, we have to keep them….”
It was at this point we had heard enough and turned to leave this GOP strategy session.
Gaetz shouted after us as we fled, “Hey, can you tell your fucking camera crew to stop hitting on my child-wife?”
#ProtectWomensRights