Hell's Angels refuse Trump's offer of employment

"It'd be a freaking pay cut. And Trump and Musk are assholes. We don't work for assholes. They have no idea what they're doing." Unnamed leader of Florida Hell's Angels

Had a chat with Trump the other day - his brother-wife, Elon Musk refuses to talk with felines saying, “Where I come from cats are food. Or targets.”

Anyway Trump expressed his fear of the Secret Service detail assigned to protect him.

“These guys are the bottom of the barrel. All the best of them threatened to “frag” me.

“I had no idea what that meant so I asked a few of my choices for my cabinet. The younger guys had no idea, but Roger Stone explained the origin of the word “frag”.

“It was terrifying.

“Apparently during the Vietnam war American soldiers who had a hatred for their commanders would kill them by tossing fragmentation grenades in their sleeping quarters - be it a hole in the ground, tent, or the man made toilets.

“So it occurred to me that I could not rely on these guys to keep me safe. Stone suggested I approach a local chapter of the Hell’s Angels warning me that this would be one bill I could not ignore. He told me that this group does not take kindly to not being paid. Unlike the American judiciary.

“I’m sure you don’t know this Tom, but I have made a habit of not paying. Be it bills, checks at dinner, judicial fines and especially my employees.

“Most employees quit after not being paid for a few months and I simply hire more. What a country! So many unemployed, and once Elon and I take the reins of the good ship America unemployment will explode - unless you’re a billionaire - I’ll take care of the billionaires.

“This is my opportunity to get rid of the middle and lower class. I plan to bus them to Canada. Let them deal with the unwashed masses.”

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