In a frenzy - Gym Jordan accidentally subpoenas himself
"I don't think I intended to do that - but here we are."
"I’m a bit of a screw-up. I know that. I’ve been hearing it my entire life. So nothing I do or say should come as a surprise to anyone, myself included.”
Gym Jordan was crying the blues to me after it was discovered the GOP rep had inadvertently subpoenaed himself.
“This is the only job available to me. Who, in their right mind, would hire me? God knows I can’t go back to coaching high school wrestling. Although I spend a lot of time watching it. I do love to watch.
“Polly, my wife, doesn’t want me around the house - so I can’t retire and go home. No, DC is the only place that tolerates me.
“I talk too much - I know that. But once I get going I can’t stop. The team of psychiatrists the RNC has mandated I see twice weekly, say I have a complex of some sort. I didn’t really listen to what they were saying. I have the attention span of a goldfish. Sunrise startles me.
“I have no friends. None of my fellow GOP want anything to do with me. I tried keeping a pet cat. People told me that cats are low maintenance. I got one. She ran away the first night.
“I was so lonely I went to stay with Kevin McCarthy. He’s lonely too. It was awful and I ran back to my apartment.
“I thought I’d get a dog to keep me company on these lonely DC nights. The dog hates me. Won’t let me in the apartment unless I bring him fresh, raw meat. And he’s fussy as hell. I started him with hamburger and that was good for a short time. Now he wants sirloin steak. I can’t afford it for myself. I’m eating mac and cheese every freaking meal. But at least he lets me sleep there. On the floor. He sleeps on my bed.”
Gym continued this self-diatribe and ‘woe is me’ for a long time. I stopped listening while he was recounting how he did not have one friend in high school. Apparently he was a target of some severe bullying. Most of it physical.
It was about then I decided that I had enough and to make a run for it. I lept out of the window. From the fourth floor.
Broke two legs. But I don’t have to listen to Gym. Well worth it.
#AdoptDontShop #SlaviUkrain