Ivanka's testimony delayed due to beautician appointment, scheduled shopping spree and rolling out her spring line

Testimony originally scheduled for Friday - moved to next Monday

Ivanka Trump was scheduled to testify on Friday in one of the myriad of TFG’s trials, but has had her witness date postponed until next Monday.

I asked her why this was necessary.

“Friday just didn’t work for me. I have a standing Friday appointment with one of the top beauticians in the country, I was due for a hair styling and and a clothing buying spree.

“As well, I am just in the final stages of negotiating with a group of kiddy seamstresses in Guangdong province to produce my spring line of ‘Ivanka Couture’ and I simply have to get this done.

“It’s big money. You would not believe the markup on these rags. I just hope none of the kids decide to go school instead of earning some money for their families.

“That happened last season and we had to physically punish the remaining workforce by forcing them to work twenty hour days. We also cut their daily food rations to two medium bowls of rice and a few nice gourmet Ritz crackers and some relatively clean water for a bedtime snack.

“They drive a hard bargain. But I’m sure they would rather be working for an American company than taking to the streets to beg.

“Many of them have been complaining that they earn far more begging on the streets. Also they whine a lot about our meals, claiming that food from the trash bins and in the street gutters is better than what we serve them.

“Ingrates, the lot of them. If not for me they’d be in school learning a trade.”

I was afraid of bringing up the past - when she had to shut down her clothing venture due to total lack of interest in buying clothing with the Ivanka Trump name.

“Oh, we’ve fixed that - from now on my line will be branded ‘Aknavi Kushner’.

“We’re planning a major rollout in January and, barring a jail sentence for perjury, Jared and I plan to be relocating to Saudi. Jared has a lot of friends and business contacts there. And their extradition laws are fairly loose. We still haven’t decided whether or not to take our children.

“I spoke with Junior about him and Kimmie adopting them and he thought it might be a good idea. But truthfully, he seemed to be in an amphetamine haze and God only knows what he thought he agreed to.

“We’ll ask again when he takes a day off from inhaling anything that Kimmy gives him before she gets him to write her a check or buy her a car.”

#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #HeroyamSlava

#NeverMetAnAnimalIDidNotLikeExceptThatBigMeanOrangeCatAtTheEndOfTheBlock