“Look, "I've done all I can do for ‘my Kevin’, from here on in he’s on his own.”
Trump was talking with me as he made up excuses for his choice of Speaker failing so dismally this week as Kevin McCarthy continued to lose ballot after ballot.
“All the candidates I endorsed in the midterms were duds - couldn’t get elected even with my endorsement. So now my Kevin is fucked. And it does not reflect well on me.
“And Junior is not helping my image at all. His cocaine fueled appearances on social media are so embarrassing and damaging to me, the Trump brand, and the party. Thank God those rants are short. I hear some idiot is setting him up with a podcast - he’ll have unlimited time to babble incoherently.
“I hope he isn’t planning on dragging his skag with him. She just doesn’t shut up and she’s so fucking loud. Nothing she or Junior says makes any sense. I hope they contain their speeches to the podcast. No public appearance. The pair of them are as embarrassing as Rudy and that pillow idiot.
“Junior and Kimmy were over here the other night and he was so wasted he mistook my favorite armchair for a toilet and pissed all over it. I threw him and the slut out and told them never to come back without an eight ball and some Adderall for me. I have sold the chair to the Presidential archives. So now I’m stuck using this old chair that we had given to the hotel staff to use.
“And Vanky has abandoned me. I imagine her and her silent idiot husband will be moving to Saudi soon. She’s got a few legal problems of her own I hear. That does not reflect well on me.
“Then there’s Eric. So fucking stupid. He has volunteered to be my Twitter spokesman. I barely trust him to mow the lawn here at Mar-a-Lago, but he works for free. The staff here want to be paid for every little thing they do. No loyalty. Damn illegal immigrants. Getting uppity these days.
“I can’t pay them - all my cash is tied up with lawyers. Any lawyer that would consider taking on all my pending indictments wants to be paid in full with cash - no retainers either. Cash in full.
“I’m cash poor. Let’s face it - everything I acquired when I was POTUS is tied up right now. I made a down payment on purchasing Greenland and that ate up a lot of my money. I thought it might be a good place to flee to when the hammer drops.
“I think I might have to let some of the hotel staff go. So Eric is going to be very busy. Too busy to get involved with my campaign - thank God.”
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