Josh Hawley reportedly training hard for next insurrection
"I want to be ready when the new session starts."
“I was so slow on January 6th and I blame that on my footwear. I used to run 400 meters in high school and college - I was quick. But on January 6th I was wearing a pair of dress shoes - it slowed me down. I am much faster than what was seen on the 6th.”
“On the first day of this upcoming session I’ll be ready. I’ve been training hard - including sprints, and you can be sure I’ll be wearing trainers or maybe even spikes. I haven’t decided. Hershel Walker is in charge of my training.”
“Word has it that our GQP gang will all be armed on opening day. Also we have prepared enough time wasting “legislation” and unfounded charges to tie up congress for the entire two years. We’ve planned a whole month on Hunter Biden’s laptop. Is this a great job or what? Full pay for fucking around with the governance of our nation.”
“Our pipe bomber, MTG thinks she has perfected her bombs. She told me that she hadn’t had enough warning in 2000 but she’s ready now. She’s been working with the Oath Keepers and a group of moonshiners from her home state who have given her a college level education in explosives. She has even recruited some former residents of GITMO, who according to her, have pointed out several missteps in the 2000 resurrection.”
After hearing this I thought I’d track Three Names down and found her at Lauren Boebert’s Brothel and Shooting Range, where she works part time.
“Well I’ve certainly got the time to put in a few shifts at Lauren’s - it’s not like I have an actual job unless Matt wants to go on a roadtrip. I like the road, Matt spends time shouting gibberish and driving drunk while recruiting young women to bring over state lines.”
#AdoptDontShop
Feline fans…
Please buy me some Temptations. Just $3. One time only. Nick is threatening to hire me out as a hit man rodent killer if I don’t start earning my keep. Bear in mind that Nick had my balls lopped off some time ago and chasing and murdering innocent mammals holds little interest for me.
Save a mammal….
ko-fi.com/tomthepissedoffcat