Junior Launches 'Trump Cocaine Corp'
Desperate to prove his worth to his father, Donald J Trump Jr has announced a new Trump branded line (excuse the pun - we cats love puns).
Desperate to earn his love and prove his worth to his father, Donald J Trump Jr has announced a new Trump branded line (excuse the pun - we cats love puns).
Earning a father’s love is a difficult thing in the Trump family unless you have breasts and a vagina - a lesson Junior learned early in life.
“I’ve tried everything - even divorced my first wife and left her with five or six kids just like my dad. But that didn’t change anything. I hooked up with a big-breasted loud woman - nothing. He likes her - wants her for himself.
“So I’ve decided I’m going to be an entrepreneur just like him and Ivanka. He’ll respect and love me now. I’ve sourced some cocaine from Moldavia which I will brand ‘Trump Coke”. That’ll please him. He loves things that have the Trump name on them.”
When asked about the quality of cocaine from Moldavia, “Fucked if I care. We’re planning on cutting it with cyanide, that’ll give it a kick for sure. Junkies will love it - for long as long as they live.”
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