Killing animals as a campaign tool

Kristi Noem - "I like to kill things that can't fight back."

I was leery about visiting Cruella De vil’s protege - Kristi Noem.

However, she did offer me a nice saucer of cream as we sat down to chat. I didn’t touch it, I was not sure how much strychnine she had mixed into it.

She did remark on how beautiful and shiny my coat was, commenting that it would make a lovely collar for her puppy and horse coat.

“You would be the perfect completion to the coat I have almost finished. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.

“I had been thinking of a nice squirrel collar, but they’re hard to kill and now that I’ve seen you, I think you’d be the perfect finishing touch to the coat I am planning to wear to Trump’s inauguration, where I will hopefully be honored as veep.

“My first thought was using a horse mane, never waste a piece of an animal you’ve slaughtered. God gets very irate when we waste any gift with which he has blessed us.

“I’ve even acquired a taste for swine anus - it’s not that bad - not unlike kissing DJT. I figure the more I kiss HIS ass, the better the chance I have of becoming veep.”

It was then she started stroking me, burying her face into my coat and complimenting me on what nice, silky fur I had and wondered out loud what it would feel like around her neck.

I took this as a death threat, ripped open her face, hands and arms, and fled.

#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #HeroyamSlava

#NeverMetAnAnimalIDidNotLikeExceptThatBigMeanOrangeCatAtTheEndOfTheBlock