"Nobody is paying attention to me. It's always Putin, Putin, Putin."

"It's not fair. Putin is getting all the attention. I have nukes too."

Kim Jong-Un shows off weight loss, new haircut and new growth eyebrows

"It's not fair. Putin is getting all the attention. I have nukes too."

Upset that the world’s press has stopped covering the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-Un has threatened to nuke a small island in the Sea of Japan said to be occupied by North Korean military deserters who were shipwrecked there when they tried to flee Kim Jong-Un’s regime four months ago.

Efforts to rescue and return them to North Korea by the Japanese navy were met with, “Are you fucking kidding? We’re good right here. At least there’s food. No electricity but there isn’t any in North Korea either.”

Asked why he targeted this particular island Kim admitted, “We wanted to target Ukraine to help out Putin but we did not have sufficient fuel to fly that far. Times are tough.

“Do you like my new haircut? And I’ve stopped pulling my eyebrows out. My therapist is most pleased with me. And so are my best friends - President Trump and Dennis Rodman.” 

#StandWithUkraine