Kyle Rittenhouse, object of hate at Arizona State University, cries to Daddy Donald and seeks admission to Trump U
Trump appoints Barron tutor to the mass murderer
The student body of ASU is apparently far less tolerant of cold-blooded murder than the Wisconsin judicial system.
“They’re being so mean to me,” Kyle Rittenhouse cried to his mother.
Mother Rittenhouse replied, “Just ask the president. He’ll take care of you. He promised.”
And a very moronic plan was hatched.
Spanky is said to have come up with the plan while having a massive McDonald’s bowel movement at Mar-A-Lardo. A two bowler.
“Forget about ASU, little Kyle. We’ll take care of you right here at Lardo. I’m getting the band back together. I’m restarting Trump U. I’ll have to check if there is an injunction against starting up, but we’ll get around that.
“This is great - Barron can be your professor. I’ve been looking for ways to get him earning. Those meanies at ASU won’t bother you here. And we don’t get any real news here at Mar-A-Lardo. Just Fox. Your feelings are safe.”
Kyle cried tears of joy as he inquired, “Can I bring my emotional support gun?”