Kyrsten Sinema retiring to spend more time clothes shopping, Warby Parker and with Lauren Boebert

"Lauren is going to need a shoulder to lean on. I plan to be there for her."

Well it finally happened.

Kyrsten Sinema is quitting her government job.

I sat down with her in a very sketchy ‘restaurant’ and asked her about her reasoning behind this decision.

“Well cat, Warby Parker is a major part of my life now. I spend most of my day on their exquisite web site and I spend my nights at places I can’t really talk about.

‘As well, all this time I spend dealing with government stuff that I don’t really give a damn about is much better spent shopping for ‘unique’ clothing and hanging around scary night clubs vaping with Lauren Boebert.

“I’m really trying to get Lauren to try Warby Parker to change her look. She’s certainly got the time.

“She’s spending all her time these days trying to find a district in which to run. She’s got a feeling that the demographics of her current district have changed. She realized that she doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting re-elected there.

“So I told her - just give up the government job - open another bar. For the next little while you’ll be spending most of your time in a courtroom with your son and his legal aid lawyer anyway.

“As for me, I can really use some time away from DC and all those serious politicians. Bad vibes. Most of them are so serious about their jobs

“Bye-bye DC - I’m outta here.”