Larry the Cat announces he will run for PM
"So sick of these losers that show up in MY house every few years!"
As a moggy from the colonies (Canada) I probably shouldn’t be sticking my whiskers into the political scene of the motherland but here goes…
I spoke with official mouser Larry the Cat from No. 10 Downing Street last night after he formally announced his run for Prime Minister. Great guy. I’ve known him for most of his 10 years as official mouser.
Larry explained, “Truthfully, this is my attempt to halt the endless parade of ego-driven clown after clown moving into my house every few years and fucking up the country and my house. Remember Elizabeth May? At least she didn’t pee in the houseplants the way BoJo and his friends are prone to do. Those plants serve as my personal loo.
“And do you think I would have allowed Brexit? What a clusterfuck that has turned out to be. And the parties. Night after night this place resembles a Saturday night at the pub - complete with slappers. Who were no doubt paid for with UK tax dollars.
“Seriously, how do think all this makes me look? Any literate sentient being on this planet knows who I am and where I live. Some days I am just too embarrassed to get off the sofa. There’s a nice napping spot on that sofa courtesy of BoJo the Bozo (my name for him). That huge butt of his has carved out a few sweet sleeping spots around No. 10. I cannot take it anymore. I have finally decided to do something about it.
“I hereby declare my candidacy for Prime Minister. God save the Queen.”
PS.
My campaign team has come up with some great slogans such as ‘No lying in No 10 unless it’s on a comfy cushion’.
Send me your ideas for more slogans. This battle will be fought on Fleet Street.
#Larry4Leader #YesWeCat
#AdoptDontShop