Larry the No 10 Cat to choose new PM
"He's not going to do any worse than we did." - Jacob Rees-Mogg
Thing are changing fast in Old Blighty.
Liz Truss has taken a job as a sales girl at Harvey Nicks, leaving the Tories with the herculean task of choosing a leader who might have a shelf life longer than a head of lettuce.
The powers that be in the Tory party have decided that rather than stage another futile leadership race they would hand the job of picking a leader to Larry the No 10 cat.
“It just makes good sense,” Jacob Rees-Mogg told me, “Larry has to live with whomever we pick. Cats are good judges of character. Extremely judgmental creatures. He should have a say in who will be feeding him and changing his litter. His servant, if you will.”
Rees-Mogg has been Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy since September 6th of this year, and like most Tories, has done very little since that day.
I called Larry to see who he might be favoring.
“Not a decent one in the lot of them. And at this point they have no right to choose on behalf of the English people. They’ve had two goes at it. BoJo and Lettuce Liz. As far as I’m concerned a General Election should be called. Now.”
“Penny Mordaunt? Seriously? Prime Minister Penny? Sounds like something straight out of an American sitcom. Or a Monty Python skit.”
“No Tom, I’m not going to do their work for them. It’s time to take it to the people. Let them decide.”
#AdoptDontShop