Last seen - Mike "The Pillow" Lindell disappears while visiting Donald "The Don" Trump to ask for $5 million loan
MIA after that visit to Mar-a-Lardo - Feds looking for shallow grave on the beach
“Hey Mike, the ‘70s called - they want their moustache back.” (from a rant during podcast by cocaine cowboy Junior Trump)
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Hello cat fans - word has it that Mike “The Pillow Guy” Lindell has spent his entire fortune in a futile attempt to prove that the 2020 election was stolen.
He is now homeless and reported missing after a visit to Mar-a-Largo to ask Trump for a loan of 5 million dollars to ‘continue the battle’.
Florida state trooper Billy-Joe-Bob Smyth told me, “Yeah, I picked him up hitch-hiking on the interstate a week ago and dropped him at Mar-a-Largo. He seemed to be under the impression that I was an Uber, and gave me shit for being late.
“I dropped him at the Mar-a-Largo gate and he asked me to wait, saying he wouldn’t be more than five minutes, After he was done there he said I would have to take him to the airport where the President would have a private plane waiting for him.
“I knew it was all bullshit but I wanted to see what would happen. Figured I should have this guy held on a 72 hour psych hold and then get to that mass shooting at the mall.
“I had a little nap while dispatch was calling for all cars to report to a second mass shooting at a mosque. The guy never came back.
“After an hour and a half I gave up. Dispatch was calling for all cars to report to a mass shooting at an elementary school. Those are the best. We just stand around visiting with other officers until the perp runs out of ammo.”
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini