Madison Cawthorn grounded
“Hell, we didn’t even vote for him. We’re not idiots, contrary to what our son’s behavior may suggest.” - Madison's mother
Madison Cawthorn’s parents have grounded him. Growing as weary of his very public antics as his constituents, the pair announced the two month grounding earlier today.
“We are just sick of it. Every time we pick up a newspaper or watch the news there’s more about what a piece of shit our son is. Spoiled brat should be back in high school and finishing his schooling. He’ll never get into a real college but a high school diploma might get him a job selling gloves at Walmart. Or maybe he could be a greeter. That’d be right up his alley and not beyond his skillset - talking bullshit. He’s never finished anything he’s started. I bought him a spot at a bible college - he was a D student and just up and quit. I’m surprised he’s lasted this long at this congressman thing.”
The beleaguered parents says that Kevin McCarthy must bear some responsibility for their son.
“He’s just as guilty as we are. Just allows him to run wild. I’ve never heard a word from Kevin. GOP house leader - my ass. We paid him to take Maddy. He said he’d take good care of him. That was bullshit. Kevin is too concerned with becoming House Speaker after the midterms. Now there’s a piece of shit who should be grounded as well. Getting paid for doing nothing.”
Asked if they would be supporting their son in the midterms, Mr. Cawthorn replied,“Hell, we didn’t even vote for him in 2020. We’re not idiots, contrary to what our son’s behavior may suggest.”
Asked if they were concerned that his absence from the House for two months would be a problem, they burst into laughter.
“We’ve been inundated with calls from his colleagues begging us to take him on a vacation. They even took up a collection - we got $32,000. We’re sending him to Russia.”
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