Mitch McConnell - "I just got tired of spewing bullshit"
"I may be doing more of this in the future."
The political world stood still when Mitch McConnell stopped speaking mid-sentence and had to be ushered from a scrum.
I had a chance to chat with fellow carnivore Mitch after the sudden silence, and asked him what happened.
“Well Tom, we’ve know each other a long time now and I feel I can be honest with you. You should feel privileged - there aren’t too many in my circle afforded this honor.
“I have never listened to what I was saying in all my years in the political theater. Today I was listening. I couldn’t believe it. I froze. What nonsense was I spewing?
“My aides took me back to my lair and I listened to recordings of what I have been saying all these years.
“I couldn’t believe what I has hearing. It was my voice but I do not recall ever saying a lot of what I was hearing.
“I’m a monster.”
He offered me a rodent snack and swallowed one himself. He didn’t even chew - just slid it down like a blue-point oyster.
“You know what we need Tom? A little time out at my hunting lodge. I’ve got a few acres not far from here where I like to go and relax - do a bit of slaughtering God’s creatures. No weapons allowed. You have to use your wits, hands and teeth to hunt.
“You know, I brought Gaetz, Jordan, Rubio and Cruz out there one time.Figured it would be a good way to rid the GOP of a lot of problems. I thought the snakes would get them but apparently the serpents considered it cannibalism and wouldn’t touch them. The same with the birds of prey.”
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #HeroyamSlava
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