NEWS ALERT - GOP to draft felons annually - the intern draft
Gaetz, Gosar and Cawthorn fighting for felonious interns
The GOP has announced plans to expand their pool of interns by conducting a draft of felons and near-felons into their “Felons for GOP” program. Initial plans call for the event to occur yearly, on the same weekend as the NFL draft.
“It just makes sense,” Rep Jim Jordan loudly proclaimed, “a lot of our House and Senate members are felons. This will be an effective method of mainstreaming the youngsters and expanding our pool of future candidates. And with the boys currently fighting over Kyle, this just seems like something that we need to avoid the bloodshed that is highly likely to occur when members go after high profile talent - Kyle Rittenhouse is a case in point.”
Maggie Taylor-Greene, House Representative from Mooserib, Georgia praised the plan saying, “I wish there had been something like this when I was just a young felon.”