Plans for scheduled destruction of Earth put on hold
"They are doing our job for us. They'll self-destruct soon."
I was having my weekly chin wag Zoom call with Larry the No. 10 Cat when he mentioned that the scheduled destruction of our planet had been postponed.
Larry knows this stuff, renting out a room in his No. 10 Downing Street home to the UK PM as he does. He’s privy to all sorts of news that the public is quite unaware of.
In a scenario straight out of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, the Intergalactic Council, fed up with the way we on Earth have all but destroyed our home, had planned to destroy it sometime this year.
The Chief council member told Larry the reason for the postponement.
“It’s expensive to do, and the loss of humanity would be tragic, but it’s becoming like watching an insect attempting to crawl out of a toilet before that inevitable next flush. You know it’s destined to happen, you just don’t know when.
“The Intergalactic Council could not put up with it, calling it inhumane to let the planet go on the way it has. We really thought that after that second great war they had learned their lesson. Then came a number of smaller wars before the people of Earth turned their attention to raping the planet itself and started destroying what can be likened to a lovely seven bedroom home with indoor and outdoor pool being slowly converted to a fraternity house.
“The air is rapidly becoming unbreathable, courtesy of the inhabitants, all in the pursuit of accumulating wealth that they will never live long enough to enjoy.
“Anticipating this, a tech billionaire is working on making a neighboring planet livable. Given enough time, he just might have done it. He did develop an electric car that is proving to be so popular it has spawned a whole industry. But I’m sorry to say, I think it’s a case of ‘too little, too late’.
“Energy - earthlings raison d'etre - is their downfall, I’m afraid. The big energy companies are reneging on their pledges to spend major money on renewable sources of energy. Their attitude appears to be ‘fuck it, we’ll all be dead long before the planet dies’. Sorry to say, at the current rate of self-destruction, they will be alive to see the end.
“Given all this, we’ve decided to let Earth face the end result of their self-centered carelessness and become a cautionary tale for the universe. They won’t have died in vain. It will save the Council a lot of money. Do you have any idea how much it costs to destroy a planet?”
“We’ve lately sent a number of observer craft to see what state they are in currently, but sadly, the earthlings decided to blow them out of the air. Well at least it gave the whole planet something to turn their attention to - instead of going to war with each other.
“So no matter how you look at it - the end is nigh. I feel terrible for all the innocent animals that are caught in the middle of this. So does the Chief. She’s got a pet zarby from a planet on the other side of the galaxy. Loves it to death. She says it’s so easy to care for - just eats and sleeps on the sofa watching TV. Not unlike cats.”
Larry and I just laughed.
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #CatsOfTwitter #CatsOfPost
PS - Rather than paying for a subscription, please consider a free subscription instead of a paid subscription and just throw a few bucks in our Donate to Animal Shelters fund at
Support animal shelters with a small donation
*********************************