Prerequisite for GQP candidates now requires insurrection participation
As well as swearing an oath of allegiance to Spanky
I really hope you people appreciate what I do to bring this drivel to you - had to go deep into MAGAt territory for this one. They’re not real fond of cats, for once in my life I’m glad I’ve been ‘fixed’. MAGAts like kicking cats and I’m just a cat.
Here we go…
If you happened to be armed and on Capitol Hill on January 6th the GQP would like you to run for office.
And if you injured or maimed a law enforcement official or two, Moscow Mitch thinks you might be senatorial material.
Turns out the Jan 6 insurrection has churned out a lot of potential Republican politicians - PRPs.
A candidate who asked that he not be named until his arrest and court issues have been resolved said, “Shit - once I got a taste of working in Congress on January 6th, I thought to myself - hell I’d like to do this as a career. I see Gym Jordan and Matt Gaetz doing shit like this daily - can’t be that hard and I like this kind of work. Gym just snorts some meth and yells a lot. Gaetz pimps out and rapes young chics while Gym watches. Gym likes to watch I hear. It’s just like when I was running with the Angels out of Alabama. Who knew I was training for a career as an elected official? My ex-wives will be impressed. So will my ex-cellmates. And my mother said I’d never amount to anything.”
Freshly minted candidates can be identified by the tattoo ‘PRP’ on their necks or elsewhere on their bodies.
Most of them are already quite tatted up and are having a difficult time finding blank space to advertise their new affiliation. The majority are former motorcycle club members and have said they will have their old affiliations tattoos removed to make room.