Roger Stone gives us a peek at GQP 2024 game plan

GQP strategy - blame AI

The other day Batman villain and Trump-pardoned felon, Roger Stone gave us a sneak peek at Republican strategy in the upcoming Presidential election.

The cornerstone of Stone’s strategy - blame any missteps on Artificial Intelligence - AI.

I caught him on MSNBC responding to an audio clip of something hateful said by him by stating, “I never said that. It’s AI.”

So I figured I should drop in on him to discuss ‘24 strategy.

I found him at his lair catching and eating insects - not unlike Renfield from the Dracula universe.

As he spat out a still waving spider leg he stated confidently, “You know cat, if AI had been around during Watergate and the whole tape with the missing 18 minutes thing, Dick would never have had to leave the White House.

“And now with someone as moronic as Trump at the helm, AI is going to save us a lot of missteps and embarrassment. Not that we are ever embarrassed by our candidates, with the exceptions of wannabes Elise Stefanik and Ron DeSantis.

“I’m not sure that even AI could deal with these two.”

I asked how AI would deal with MTG and Lauren Boebert.

“Truthfully cat, their antics amuse us - they are useful idiots and they make us laugh - a lot. Most GOP members and supporters just ignore them. They’re getting tedious. As a matter of fact, members of our House caucus call them ‘The Tedious Twosome’.

“Speaking of troublesome, Matt Gaetz has been asked to leave the House GOP. I hear he’s planning to take a run at the Fla. Governor position. This should be hilarious. Gaetz versus DeSantis - who was promised that he could return to his Governor position if he loses the Presidential candidate position.

“As for Gaetz, I think his time to govern is limited, I understand his side gig of running his teenage beauties over state lines keeps him pretty busy.

“I’m really surprised he’s been able to spend so much time in the House this term, his side business must have slowed down, what with the police watching his every move.

“And his dad seems to have run out of favors he can request - unless he comes up with a few million dollars to donate to the Police Benevolent Fund.

“Getting back to the AI issue - apparently it took 18 hours to explain it to candidate Trump, but I don’t think he fully understands how it will help him.

“We were hoping it would at least slow down some of the bullshit he spews, but with that much verbal garbage, it may be impossible to cover it all.

“We’ve got a full team of observers on hand whenever he speaks and several of them have resigned their positions, saying no amount of spinning and AI bullshit can cover all of the sewage he spews.”

But Roger Stone is confident that AI is the last weapon they will need.

“Our last resort will be a surgical operation to sever his vocal chords and use AI to deliver his rants.

“Several people have suggested that possibly a lobotomy might help. Although I should mention that several surgeons are adamant that a lobotomy would be redundant or a waste of time. One confided to me that he was sure a lobotomy had already been performed.”

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