Rudy looking forward to having his own place - even if it's shared with thousands
Tired of couch surfing - he's goin' the Paul Manafort route. But don't expect a pardon Rudy.
America’s Mayor has fallen from grace. And he’s glad to finally have the waiting game at an end.
“I knew it was coming. Trump had assured me that he’d take care of me. But I think America knows all too well what a Trump promise is worth. Remember Paul Manafort?”
Now about the nightly racket at Gracie Mansion.
These days Rudy spends most nights hammering on the front door demanding to be let in as he yells, “I’m America’s Mayor and I need a place to sleep.”
Current Mayor Eric Adams let him in one night and regrets it.
“He would not stop talking. And he stunk of gin and sweat. He smelled like he hadn’t changed his clothes in weeks, and I insisted he have a shower before I allowed him to sit on any of the furniture. He really did not like that, complaining that his hair color would run.”
Tired of couch surfing, and rapidly running out of people to put him up ‘just for the night’, Giuliani is looking forward to jail.
“Rikers ain’t that bad,” he told me, “I know it’s been compared to a slave ship, and the rats are as big as your head, but at least I’ll have a pet. You’re a cat - you’d have a ball in there. Why don’t you come visit? My cousin wives sure as hell won’t. I don’t really have a friend in the world, except Sidney Powell and she probably won’t be at liberty to visit. She’s got her own ‘Trump Troubles’. So do the Trump kids.”