“They’re being mean to me. They’re always so mean.”
Justice Brett Kavanaugh nods and replies, “Yes Ms. Palin, so you’ve said. But you do have to admit that you and your family are very easy targets. I mean you guys are the definition of “confederacy of hillbilly dunces”. Didn’t your brother knock up your teenage daughter?”
“Everyone’s been so mean to me since 2008 when I was Mr. McCain’s running mate. Those were great days. You betcha. I went to Sedona. People liked me. They’d cheer for me. And Mr. McCain would talk to me once a week. That was the best time of my life.”
“Sorry Ms. Palin, but…”
“Just call me Sarah. Everyone does.”
“Well, I have some bad news, Sarah.”
“My life has been mostly bad news these past 14 years. Let me have it. I can take it.”
Judge Kavanaugh takes a deep breath, exhales and says, “It seems that a motion was put before us to have your American citizenship revoked. I was passed out when it happened, so I don’t have a lot of details.”
“Why? Who? Who would do that? It was those Libtards - wasn’t it? They hate me. They’re just jealous of me, you betcha. I’m a star. A reality TV star. MAGAts and the GQP love me.”
Kavanaugh interrupts her, “No I’m afraid this is coming from all the Governors of the lower 48 as well as Hawaii. So sorry. And didn’t you get booed on Dancing With The Stars? Can I offer you a comfort beer? I’m sure I have a few in my robes. Damn I love this job. You should become a Supreme Court Justice. Best job I ever had. I’m drunk most of the day. They have to wake me up to vote, and to send me home at the end of the day.”
“So, what am I supposed to do? Where do I go? What will be become of me?”
“Well Alaska says they’ll take you back, but they weren’t thrilled about it. You can’t bring any of your family. You want a beer?”
“I told you – I don’t drink or cuss.”
“Well, this may be a good time to start. Your ride to the airport is waiting.”
“I hate Alaska.”