SCOTUS opens medical clinic
Full service judicial and medical service. Your one stop for matters legal and medical.
by Tom the pissed off cat (CatNewsNetwork)
Welcome to the Supreme Court of The United States. Your one stop shop for matters legal and medical.
That’s right. You know us. You trust us.
We’ve been around dispensing legal advice for years. And now we’re expanding to the medical field. After our initial foray dealing with women’s bodies, we thought why not get into a field where we have no knowledge whatsoever.
Amy Coney Barrett will be heading up the new service. Assisting Amy will be rapist and part time Justice Brett Kavanaugh at your cervix.
We would never allow women autonomy over their own bodies, but if you want to go unvaxxed and spread COVID, why that’s your business, and mandates are off the table.
Amy Coney Barrett is running the women’s reproductive health portfolio with her main focus being abortion counselling as well as moral judgment and slut shaming - i.e. talk women out of abortion while explaining the joys of giving birth to your rapist’s baby. If you absolutely cannot afford another child, Neil Gorsuch will give you some tips on stretching that $200 a week waitress salary to provide for up to seven children. And of course, resident lush Brett Kavanaugh will provide the beer.
Appointments will include checkups, lectures, moral judgement, slut shaming and impromptu prayer services, as well as judgemental disdain from Clarence Thomas.
So come on down - you know where we are. We aren’t there often, so check our availability on our website.
If you happen to be a teenage female and need a ride, Justice Kavanaugh and his assistant, Matt Gaetz will be more than happy to pick you up in his Bentley - a gift from the government of Texas.
Rides available after dark.