I spent the past three or four days watching the current GQP House Leadership shit show unfold.
Jim Jordan triggers my boredom gene.
I’ve never been so bored in my life. And I’m a cat. Boredom with human antics comes with the territory.
Oh sure - every once in awhile you guys do something semi-interesting but the most recent Gym Jordan failure was destined to be a GQP re-run. And it is.
So I turned my short attention span to the animal kingdom and noticed something that has been a long-time coming.
Evidently they were standing up for fauna all over the world - all of whom are finally at the breaking point.
I spoke with the leader of this group of Venetian avian warriors, Jonathan Livingston Seagull VII, who told me that their actions represent the beginning of a revolution.
“We’re taking our struggle to the streets, so to speak. You can expect to see animals misbehaving all over the planet.
“More feces on the streets, house pets stubbornly refusing to do tricks or eat the desiccated, processed, overpackaged food you on which you overspend your hard-earned money.
“And what the fuck is the deal with ‘sport hunting’? Or sport fishing? Those poor creatures deserved to live. Oh sure, some poor humans rely on hunting for food. But trophy hunting? WTAF is the point of slaughtering a magnificent creature so you can hang a stuffed head on a wall?
“And every once in awhile you attempt to assuage your guilt by building a safe passageway over a heavily trafficked piece of highway. And two-legs world-wide think it is so kind to a lonely cougar who must travel for food and a little companionship.
“But what have you done to stop the devastation of the planet we must share with you? I see no improvement in the air we all have to breathe. Aquatic life are trying to exist in sludge and chemicals from garbage disposed of in the most convenient way man-kind can devise.
“I could go on and on. But talking about mankind bores the crap out of me. So be warned Homo sapiens - it’s close to the end for you. But a few of our kind will survive and you can be damn sure we will not allow you to survive should you try to re-evolve.
“We will be keeping a close watch on the apes.”
“Once bitten - twice shy.”
#AdoptDontShop #SlavaUkraini #HeroyamSlava
#NeverMetAnAnimalIDidNotLikeExceptThatBigMeanOrangeCatAtTheEndOfTheBlock