by Tom the Pissed Off Cat
I was chatting with Steve Doocy yesterday about his son’s idiotic question after POTUS’s news conference.
Steve explained, “That’s why Murdoch hired him. Much to my protestations, I might add. I know how stupid he is, and I tried to talk them out of it. But Rupert has an affinity for morons. If you don’t believe me, just look at Fox’s lineup. I really don’t give a shit what Peter does. I’m not even sure he’s mine. I hope to God he’s not mine. I’d hate to think he came out of me. I think I remember the night he was conceived; the phone rang just at the wrong moment, if you know what I mean. I was expecting a call from Rupert or Laughlin. I had to answer. So, it’s my opinion that Peter is not all there.
“He’s been a source of unending embarrassment since he was a child, but at least he’s not Don Junior. Did you happen to see that shitshow Junior posted to Twitter? Ripped on coke and pissed out of his mind on cheap wine. Not a good wine either, I’d wager. Slinger’s Rhubarb Wine or something aged in plastic casks. He’s going to go blind in the next few years. Mark my words.
“My kid isn’t quite that bad, but I’m sure that’s where he’s headed. I’ve been writing letters to the White House to pull his credentials. Jen Psaki answered once and said the comic relief he provides eases the tension during pressers."
“Wait a minute - why the hell am I telling you this. I hate cats - how the hell did you get in here? Get out of here or I’ll sic my Doberman on you.”
At that point he whistled and shouted, “Fang! Fang! Cat! Get him!”