The latest Trump grift - funerals
Full service funerals will eventually be available according to Eric Trump
After discovering the fiscal and tax rewards of re-purposing parts of his property holdings for use as burial sites, the Trump Organization is going full tilt on a new business venture.
TFG lamented that he hadn’t thought of this before commenting, “I guess that’s what happens when you don’t have an accounting or law firm willing to do business with you.”
We spoke with Eric Trump about the newest Trump venture.
“Ivanka went to China to source cheap coffins which she figures could sell at a 25000 percent markup. She only bought a few cheapos - to be used for display purposes only,” explained Eric, adding, “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. Dad says I talk too much. Says that I’m just a waste of skin.
“But anyway, he has no plans to bury anyone. Just throw the bodies on a truck and dump them in the woods. Dad has some friends in New Jersey who know all the best spots for dumping bodies.
“We’ll also be offering $100 a plate meals after the ‘funerals’. Melania will be officiating at the funeral services. She looks the part and no one ever understands what’s she’s saying anyway. None of us do. We’re gonna be a family again. At least that’s what dad says. Junior and Kim Gargoyle will be selling ‘mourning cocaine’ and meth at the ‘funerals’. They figure that the income from this venture should keep them in coke until dad is imprisoned.
“Kimmy Gargoyle has the look of someone who loves death and has expressed a desire to bury house pets. She has said that ‘it doesn’t even matter if they’re dead - I kind of get off on that’. Dad has assured her that there will be room for her and her side business as long as he get a piece.”
#DonateToAnAnimalShelterToday #AdoptDontShop