Tories appoint head of lettuce as new PM
"Easily beat Liz Truss and Rishi - it only makes sense."
A senior Tory leader, who asked not to be named, told us, “Our backs are up against the wall. We are not quite finished what we had planned.”
“We do not want to call an election. And seriously, we have no one that the people of Great Britain would find acceptable to run the country. It would be a suicide mission for us. So we are going to pilfer what we can and head to the Caymans. We know that we will never get reelected in our lifetimes. Nothing here for us anymore. A lot of us are endorsing Larry the No 10 cat. He will be a better leader than anyone we’ve got.”
“The head of lettuce will be our new leader, but I’m certain that this race is Larry’s to lose. I can’t think of anyone in either party better equipped to lead the country. Labour is still going thru growing pains. No leader.”
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