It’s noon.
TraitorTot wakes and lifts his head from his pillow, his greasy pillow, and looks around in an effort to locate SkankGirl.
He spots her legs next to the camp cot he sleeps on, her upper torso at rest under the air mattress she sleeps on.
“We gotta get some bedding one of these days,” he mutters to himself, “and maybe a bed.”
Time to kick off another day at Chez Slimey.
“Hey Kimberly. Time to get up. It’s Friday - shower day - I was thinking maybe we could start showering every couple of days. You’re starting to look and smell like Katrina Pierson. We gotta start tending to our hygiene, especially if I plan to run for President. You never looked this oily when you were with Gavin.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you never looked and smelled like a greasy bush man when you were with Vanessa. Your kids don’t even want to hug or kiss you. They’re terrified of you.”
“Fuck it - I like the way I look and smell. I smell like a real man. And when I go slaughtering animals, they can’t smell me coming.”
“Asshole - you’re not going to please your daddy that way. You will never please him. I’ve told you, start seeing that shrink I fixed you up with. Spanky hates you. He’ll always hate you. You’ll never please him. See the shrink.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any blow left? I really need a line or two. Gotta call Spanky for some cash. Can’t do that straight. Eric didn’t loan us much yesterday. We need another eight ball or two.”
“What about your mom?”
“Ivana? Nah, she cut me off years ago. I suppose I could try Barron and Tiffany and Marla - they’re sorta kinda relatives.”
“Not a good idea. They all hate you. Don’t you understand yet? Everybody hates you. You’ll never be elected to anything. Whew, I’ve been wanting to tell you that for months. Hey - it’s Friday - I got alimony coming. Enough for an ounce or two. We’re cool for the weekend. Don’t have to call anyone.”
“So, what should we do today?”
“We’ve got our STD tests today.”
“Fuck that - we’ll worry when things start turning green and falling off. You know what we really need - a bed. A real bed. Let’s go buy a real bed and some bedding. We’ve been here months.”
“Good idea. I’m sick of sleeping on the floor every second night. And even when it’s my turn to sleep in the cot - it’s not a very good sleep.”
“I’ll tell our Secret Service agents to go buy us a bed, and you call our dealer. And dad doesn’t have a rally today - gonna be a great day.”