Trump admits that seeing Cohen in court brought back a flood of memories
"The Way We Were was playing in my yuge brain as I watched him."
After his court appearance today, defendant Donald J Trump confided to me that seeing Michael Cohen in court today was bittersweet.
“You know cat, we shared a lot of good experiences in court when we were still a thing. Today was hard for me.
“After I arranged for him to be imprisoned I stopped seeing him. But today, seeing him for the first time in five years stirred up a lot of memories. We had a lot of good times back in the day.
"The Way We Were was playing in my yuge brain as I watched him testify. I knew this was going to difficult, but I did not expect to feel something almost like human emotion.
“I thought about all the broads he paid off to keep quiet. He was a good soldier and friend. But then he started to get a conscience and become an upstanding American citizen.
“I almost regret imprisoning him. I should’ve pardoned him.”
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This could be the funniest deepfake montage ever if only I had time to edit it. Or... As an SNL cold open, it would also practically write itself... where both Trump and Cohen keep losing themselves to deep nostalgia of criminals, mid-trial with Engoron finding them in contempt every time they break into song... mimicking Babs... in an epic Babs-off 😂