Trump assures Florida - "I alone can divert Ian."
Armed with a Sharpie and his not so sharp mind Donnie tells Florida not to worry.
Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Mar-a-Lago Motel and Brothel, Donald J Trump readies his family and the state of Florida for Hurricane Ian.
“Who names a hurricane ‘Ian’? That’s not an American name. Sounds British. And this bullshit of giving hurricanes men’s name is so left wing. So woke. Everyone was fine with naming them after women. American women.”
“I alone can save Florida from this hurricane. I could’ve saved Puerto Rico, if I actually gave a damn. Bunch of foreigners, all of them. Send them some Bounty from me again. And get me a Sharpie and a weather map.”
“Make sure you use a black Sharpie, daddy. The gold one just isn’t serious enough,” Ivanka Trump warned her daddy-lover.
“Got it, now get me a weather map and my thinking cap. The red one.”
“They’re all red daddy.”
“Well then get me the reddest. The redder, the better. I declassified a lot stuff that way, stuff that could never have been sold if it was still classified. We could’ve been in a lot of legal trouble. Just wish I could do something with all the stuff that Letitia James has. You kids may be in a lot of trouble.”