Trump demands Pope intervene in documents investigation
"I wouldn't ask but I don't trust the Supreme Court to do what I paid them to do."
Out of options, former president Donald J Trump traveled to Rome and demanded to meet with the head of the Roman Catholic church to ask his assistance in avoiding a jail term.
The desperate Trump, trembling with anxiety, appeared at the Vatican in the middle of the night where he was met by the Swiss Guard and could be heard shouting, “I demand that you wake the guy with the big hat and bring him down to me. This is important, I’ve run out of options. I need him to bless me or forgive me - whatever it is he does. I need a fucking pardon now.”
The ex-president was escorted out of Vatican City and was said to be on his way to meet with the Dalai Lama somewhere in India.