Trump fails English test administered to immigrants

"The worst thing was his capitalization of every second word. He doesn't have a clue."

“A lot of people are saying that it would be good if I did not post on social media anymore,” Donald Trump Senior told me in confidence yesterday.

“Yeah Tom, my people say I appear to have a problem with the English language. Especially punctuation and capitalization. Truthfully, I did not realize that there were rules for those things. I don’t even really know what punctuation and capitalization are. I thought they were just things you used to make your writing fancier.

“They made me take a language test that new US citizens are required to take. You know who I mean - immigrants. Also, I had to take some kind of history test. I did not pass that either. I thought that test would be easy. I expected more questions about me. There was not one question about me. I’m almost embarrassed to be a privileged American.

“But I tell you cat, once I’m returned to my god-given place as ruler of this country, there won’t be any more immigrants and we can get rid of these fucking tests.

“Now I’ve got to go tell Junior how to answer questions in court and I’ve got to give some cash to that Florida broad I made into a judge, Aileen Cannon. She wants cash, she won’t take my checks anymore.

“That’s one payment I do not want to be late.”

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